Watch F-cking Sober Starring Brooke Johnson

I said I was gonna make a documentary and I did finally!!

Around March of last year, a friend and I had an idea to make a documentary. My friend and I both identified as  being in recovery and as sex workers. As a result, we both had a strong desire to represent ourselves and other people’s experiences because there is next to none. We wanted to make this doc for lots of reasons and the original is post here.

The documentary is finished now. Well, the editing is. Is a film ever really finished? It doesn’t seem like it but the film is being submitted to festivals nevertheless. 

Before this, I had never made a film before. I couldn't even fathom it. Growing up, I loved documentaries and liked that they could serve as an accessible way of storytelling. I never thought I would make one though because what even goes into making a documentary? I didn’t know! But my friends’ lives inspired me and I knew they could inspire many more if they had a platform to tell their stories. And since my priority for the last year had been trying to build spaces for sober sex workers, I thought a documentary would be a good avenue of creating that space.

I ended up making the doc by myself but did not make it alone. People helped from the beginning. From all aspects of my personal and professional life, people supported me. A man I was seeing during the documentary’s conception was a retired owner of a production house and he helped me choose an affordable camera that would have “run and gun” capabilities that I wanted the film to be shot in (and no he never paid for anything 😢). I spent weeks coming in and out of B&H and Adorama talking to the men there about audio and camera equipment. When I traveled to shoot for the first time, my friend trusted me with her very nice lens to shoot on. Along the way, I met a woman who had worked for Vice and knew the ends and outs of production and videography. She taught me about releases, copyright, and how to set up a camera rig. She also taught me the importance of ISO, white balance, and frame rate (though I still struggle). I had friends watch uncut footage with me, give me suggestions and ask nothing in return. My brother helped me write the film description for the applications. Many friends supported me, encouraged me, pushed me to finish this project. I got really lucky with people I met along this journey- none of which I could have done this without.

Last winter, just when I was at a loss with what to do with the footage, I met a film editor and we ended up cutting the film together. He had worked on several films and even shot/directed a short doc that screened at Sundance in the early 2000s. He advised me that I should learn editing because it's a critical part of directing. What’s more is that he said that I could do it. He put faith in me. We met consistently for months. He would even commute an hour to my place to help me comb through hours of footage. On top of that, he didn’t want payment which is a HUGE reason that this film is finished. He also taught me how to cut this film in a way that prioritized authenticity to Brooke’s story. After a couple months, we made selections from the footage which slowly turned into a rough cut. Then we had several rough cuts. 

For a month, I got friends to view the rough cuts and give feedback. Since the editor and I had watched the footage so much, it was important we got fresh perspectives. We wanted to make sure the story made sense, that the music wasn’t distracting and so on. Where did people laugh? Where did people get emotional? When I had collected my friend’s responses, he and I would get together and make adjustments to the doc based on what we thought was most important.

After rounds of feedback, we had a final-ish cut which needed Brooke’s approval. After following Brooke’s notes, the film made it to picture lock which means there was no going back. Because it needed color and sound correction to meet festival standards, the film itself couldn’t be changed. I ended up hiring professionals to do those corrections. (I don't think I can learn another skill rn). Now, it's mostly a waiting game. I’m applying on a film festival platform and have a spreadsheet with the festivals I am submitting to. 

Applying for festivals has introduced me to the business of filmmaking. The business part of this is not surprising but still jarring. The whole application process has been hard and problematic at times because you basically need to show the festival that you need their help and money. But at the same time, as I am submitting, I am not trying to promote the idea that I have a really fucked up life that I need to be saved from. Like do I want to work in a studio forever? No. Do I want to be an escort forever? No. Is part of this documentary the hope that I can make a career in film? Yes. But we will see what happens. It’s a totally unpredictable time in the film industry and in the world. But when I get to future tripping, I have to remember this doc all came from a desire to capture the stories of really cool people I knew that a lot of people could identify with. 

I am also really proud to know Brooke and grateful that hopefully they will be seen by a lot more people for the badass they are. There’s so much more I want to say but instead of doing that why don't I just share the trailer with you- beautifully done by Caelum Ahearn. Enjoy!

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(Website by E James Ford!!)